tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3527199560722272552024-03-08T17:36:19.383-08:00The phil's thoughtsThe philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-52491848893808303012011-09-22T01:31:00.000-07:002011-09-22T01:39:09.056-07:00Found<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366ff;">The place I stand, embrace or later retrace. Giving circumspect to singularity or crying out. What will be the definitive stroke to this masterpiece of adulthood? Consistently followed by the reality my shadow casts...a longing for belonging can be abortive by nature or the slave to settle debts with said abscess. Will the clairvoyance evoke from a warm laugh? Perhaps an honest remark or familiar soul...whatever the source my solace is, it isn't revealed by any finite tribute or acclaim. Just a bare belief, i will be found.</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-64023976831202839282011-07-21T18:49:00.000-07:002011-07-21T19:08:09.766-07:00The Artist<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">Ideas of restoration</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">and love for theory notation</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">respond in reverberation.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">Clefs align for presentation</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">result in commune adulation.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">Sing to me with your heart so free</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">and a grip so tight of pulse that beats.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">Attuned to needs of industry</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">with which it suffers atrophy.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">Brave souls bridge gaps and usher belief</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">new school of thought, an uprising.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">Creative lines exalt reprieve </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">pressure left from former defeat.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333399;">Uncharted ground is all he seeks...</span></div><div><br /></div>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-56129897510707693222010-10-05T15:24:00.000-07:002010-10-05T16:09:03.170-07:00<span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >this time around</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >May I write this?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >....with layers of progression I find the words. Not many, but enough...for now.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >To walk with purpose, with healing.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >To hold something you've always wanted.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >To play the notes that made you whole.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >To hear the rain fall and know...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >You can be anyone, but I would rather it be you.</span></span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-74515354705614845092010-08-12T19:42:00.000-07:002011-09-22T01:44:41.483-07:00<span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><strong>rel·e·vance</strong></span><div style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Pronunciation: </span><span class="pr" style="font-size:100%;">\<span class="unicode">ˈ</span>re-lə-vən(t)s\</span></div><div style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Function: <em>noun</em></span> </div><div style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Date: 1733</span></div><p style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;" class="d"> <span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>1 a</strong> <strong>:</strong> relation to the matter at hand <strong>b</strong> <strong>:</strong> practical and especially social applicability <strong>:</strong> <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pertinence">pertinence</a></span> <span class="vi" style="font-size:100%;"><giving></giving></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><strong>2</strong> <strong>:</strong> the ability (as of an information retrieval system) to retrieve material that satisfies the needs of the user</span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;" class="d"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;" class="d"><span style="font-size:100%;">So I've been sitting on this word for the last couple days and although the definition is concise I don't feel that it addresses the "heart" of it...</span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;" class="d"><span style="font-size:100%;">Shuttered light strobes through the fence across my face as I walk my city in the early hours. It's so still I can hear the buzzing of the traffic lights as they trade off. Sleep wasn't an option as rolling over started to feel like some sort of routine. Ok, so here I am with my thoughts and the quiet night sky, now what? I have the same sentiments during the day much less the bleak hours of the night, so will my lowered state of awareness bring me to new conclusions? </span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;" class="d"><span style="font-size:100%;">Marketing on a shop window brings me back from my daze. Where is everyone at when they read these ad slogans everyday? Does one soul feel any closer to self identification from these cheap imitations of what a life "should" look like? I have serious doubts toward that claim. But apparently if the right person is drinking or wearing it you will potentially have a shot at the same lifestyle. The problem isn't with the paid representative of said product but with our hopes to walk away from what we have for a life. As the storyline always plays through that song you feel as if were written just for you or that movie where you see yourself on the screen and the outcome you've always dreamed of. This message that resonates so close to you is simply relaying that you are in fact alive and in search of that place or idea to belong to.<br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;" class="d"><span style="font-size:100%;">No one shares these streets this late yet I wait for the crosswalk lights permission to proceed. Walking with shortened strides, infected thoughts of "What can I even do with my life at this point?" slow me down. My life is obviously different from yours but what threads do we share? Where do we reach to find our solace? And how long will that sanctuary of escape last this time? What could initiate the relevance of perspective for you and I?</span></p><p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-family: times new roman;font-family:webdings;" class="d"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Rebuttals start up from authors antiquity as I turn the corner to my apartment. One-liners and stanzas start surfacing to a moment I accommodate in the least but my heart beats out the logic to stop me in my tracks. I am as motionless as my surrounding at this hour yet my body feels as if it's in flight. Between Milton's "misplaced" Paradise, Eliot's Wasteland or Shelly and his interpretation of love I see the tie between who we allow to label us in our own lives and what we speak out on others is dire. Choice to receive the titles cast upon us is none but our own. Your relevance is limited to how deep you are willing to reach inside yourself. So I choose to walk with a renewed purpose to see myself past the projected expectations and invite you to do the same...but after you've had your morning coffee.</span><br /></span></p><p class="d"><br /></p>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-51651613441906870262010-06-03T14:22:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:42:51.806-07:00<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >What is it of beauty that soothes a peace in our breath? The simple symmetry of a tree lined country road that feeds a sense of balance or the strength of a red faced canyon who's rocky depths deal protection or the inviting curves of a woman that places the mind at ease. These are but a few elements that spur an ongoing search of the connection between sight and soul. The crux of this is what do we offer in return for this transcendent display...</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-33273093718202456222010-05-05T16:45:00.000-07:002010-05-05T16:48:30.163-07:00Concious Sleep<span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Don't care who's listening</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Don't care who hears</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">You're my wasted time</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">You're wasted years</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">I cant say</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">And I cant scream</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">But to breakaway</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">I'm starting to see</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">And as I walk away </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">From what remains </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">You sit in your spite </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">And your dark campaign</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Oh why oh why</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Did I even try</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Now when I breathe </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">I exhale life</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Days at a time</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">The weeks are behind</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Years follow suit </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">And the fight grows inside</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">The night sky falls</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">And shadow hides</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Our dreams march on</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">As secret whispers lie</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">My destiny mapped </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">By sky punched lights</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">The same ever glow </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">That inspired Eliot to write</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">So adieu to you</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">My adversary consumed</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">This volition moves on</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Apathy you're through.</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-82183920552801465642010-01-21T18:08:00.000-08:002010-10-05T15:44:02.759-07:00<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255); font-style: italic;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;" ><br /><span class="hw" style="font-size:100%;">de·liv·er·ance</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><object style="margin: 1px;" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,0,0" height="21" width="13"><param name="movie" value="http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf"><param name="menu" value="false"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="FlashVars" value="sound_src=http://img.tfd.com/hm/mp3/D0113600.mp3"><embed src="http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf" flashvars="sound_src=http://img.tfd.com/hm/mp3/D0113600.mp3" menu="false" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" height="21" width="13"></embed></object></span></span><script>play_w2("D0113600")</script><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >n.<br /><br /></span><div class="pseg"><div style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255); font-style: italic;font-family:webdings;" class="ds-list"><span style="font-size:100%;">1. The act of delivering or the condition of being delivered.</span></div><div style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255); font-style: italic;font-family:webdings;" class="ds-list"><span style="font-size:100%;">2. Rescue from bondage or danger.</span></div><div class="ds-list"><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255); font-style: italic;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >3. A publicly expressed opinion or judgment, such as the verdict of a jury.<br /><br />So there it is. The definition of what I exhale every time I breathe. It's been a while since I've felt this way, well I actually don't think I've <span>ever</span> felt this way. Through authors experience, melody of artists heart and brushstroke to visionaries canvas...I am undone, but free. The unyielding power of choice is something I have discussed recently and am still in awe of. What great potential we have once we believe in where we are going. This shift in thought has brought about a great deliverance in what I understand of this life.<br /><br /> Overwhelming, the options. In this freedom there is so much life to be lived, Chords to be played, Friends to laugh with and Coffee to drink. An evolution in me from protective pessimism to some innate blend of realism and optimism which makes me look at the state I'm in and whats around me to feel a new sense of hope.</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span> <br /><br /><br /></div></div>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-19553781063541506052010-01-14T13:33:00.000-08:002010-10-05T15:44:37.744-07:00<div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"> Covered in shadow as you darken my door<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Jaded by damp souls who feel no more<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;">An inevitable crossing of these lines pass<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >Pretense wrought wound as lies are cast. </span><br /></div>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-21215217293429593052009-12-16T18:52:00.000-08:002010-10-05T15:45:22.832-07:00<span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >...as espresso and tables mingle, conversation and study share the background of a guitar. I wait, I watch. An obscure delight warms me to see life lived through the fellow patrons eyes. The steamed caffeine soothes my tongue yet sparks my memory, this time of reflection is an anchor in my travels. </span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-91705004994577952192009-12-16T18:25:00.000-08:002010-10-05T15:45:55.632-07:00<span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);font-family:times new roman;" ><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Frost</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br />...in my past he saw my future, passing away decades before my birth. You needn't be knowledgeable of the tangent to see the trend. Was there a warning? And to what forum was it asserted? I'd like to think it was revealed to him by the formula of setting. Through the right rural revelation and countless of deaths devastation, being of what to come his articulation. Between epitaph and farmland the answer lies. To three words he proposed..."</span></span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" >life goes on</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);font-family:webdings;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:times new roman;">."</span> </span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-27743503169489903532009-11-12T10:42:00.000-08:002010-10-05T15:46:35.531-07:00<p style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;"><span class="orth">choice</span><span class="pron"> (<span class="symb">c̸ho̵is</span>)</span></p><p style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;"><span class="pos">noun</span></p><ol style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;" class="sense"><li> the act of choosing; selection</li><li> the right, power, or chance to choose; option </li></ol><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;" > So it's a simple word and a well understood definition. Then why is this "simple" word a mountain to climb over for so many? I'm really broken up inside by all the confusion and loaded pretense that keeps us from performing this seemingly straightforward action.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;" > It's right there, so do it. Make the choice. Why is it not that easy? What have you built up in your mind that makes you almost scared to move in a different direction. If you aren't happy where you are then wouldn't there be a mental process of "hmmmm....I think something needs to change."? I've said it before about the civil war between your heart and mind. It's a vicious fight where reason over healing usually "wins". A false win but none the less the heart can only take defeat for so long and then it wont bother to put up a fight. And I honestly can't tell you how many times and in how many different settings I've heard the words uttered to me..."I just don't feel anymore. Why am I so numb?" Well I can't tell you what your tree of reason looks like for you but I can tell you what the root of this crippling growth is, it's fear. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;" > Those four little letters swing the course of lives and generations like you wouldn't believe. Would fathers run from their sons if not for fear of failure? or a strong woman reject her own potential and take whats given from a shell of a man from a fear of loneliness? or an artist who dreams big but lives small out of a fear of rejection? To call this a crippling growth doesn't do it justice. I don't feel as if I'm being over dramatic on this point either. It's very real and I know you probably already disregarded some of this point due to this root in you. Don't take offense to this because it's true for you and me. We have a great deal of fear that we just overlook and chalk it up as just something you deal with in your day, but there is so much more than that and we settle before we even make it around the next corner! There is a life to be lived that is truly free of this fear. And you know what it is that holds you back, lies like "I better not mess this up because I can't do any better than this!"(if it's a friendship, a job, someone you love or a skill set) If you are holding on to this "familiar comfort" and you're not happy then I plead for you to make a choice....life is waiting.</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-9506002159285750312009-10-18T22:07:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:47:23.942-07:00<pre style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">No matter what you tell yourself you can't always stop your feelings.<br />I by no means seek to be dramatic but there are times like right now<br />when I'd rather not feel anything. A deep breath and a distraction.<br />That's all I'm asking for at the moment. Oh to have the rush of oxygen<br />in my lungs to loosen the knot....cause it's not about who I was or<br />what I did, but what I can and will be. The pruning doesn't always<br />feel "fair" but if I want to go an inch further I have to let go. May<br />I decrease gracefully.</span></pre>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-70573288228867037992009-10-06T16:23:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:48:05.622-07:00<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >it's eating at me....</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >I know the honest truth about me.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >However I cannot get my heart to chip in with my thoughts, why such a variance?</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >Do they truly counter balance each other? Or do I just secretly enjoy holding onto pain?</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >Sounds sick to you?....well it is but I can't for the life of me let go of certain things. So what</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >do you hold onto to make it through to the other side?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >Do you ever feel like you are the only one trapped?? That everyone around you has an</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >infinite freedom to basically do or be whatever they want, and you wanna know just how they got a hold of that. I'm forever on the outs with one person and i feel as if I'll never make it in the club....he keeps me on the end of everything and I just wanna find my way past his curve and</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >see what I'm in for a little sooner than he does. Some have just met him and some of you are subjected to not being allowed in his clique as well.....he's usually referred to as Hindsight. You might feel his intro a bit excessive but if you've been where I have with him it's not the half of it.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >What a seemingly esoteric way of life.....I'm not shooting for the center, I would just like to belong.</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-36453289905113457582009-09-01T12:19:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:48:47.939-07:00<span style="font-family:times new roman;">why do it? why do we make our way through this life? there are so many moments in this self aware existence that we stop to ask....but do you ever hear an answer? or do you just keep going since you haven't stopped breathing yet? artists, scientists, theologists all speculate but who has the clairvoyance to know whats past our sight? could it be the little moments throughout our lives when at an unexpected intersection through the foresight of providence we feel whole or "warm" inside due to a certain event? or person??</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">some say this is it. what you see is as deep as the rabbit hole goes. others give their lives in an effort to gain what riches are due them in light of their sacrifice. and then another camp has their eyes set on the return of something more. this last camp has set a course towards something not about them or the "tit for tat" lifestyle it has been marketed to be. who has the answers?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">in the early hours or deep in the night my heart finds me off guard and has but little time to relay its needs. and sure enough it tells me it needs something more. not wants....needs. enter the conflict of more. more what? happiness? money? fulfilling career? i can rationalize almost anything but this pull is real. and in those moments it pulls hard. what "more" can i give this pull to satisfy its hunger? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">forget being poetic, forget being clever. i know there is something more...</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-16519188352756530932009-08-11T23:15:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:49:26.252-07:00release us....<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >tied up in my sheets, my future lies before me</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >as the fan flutters the pages loose, back and forth they blow.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >its still in here...this book has stirred enough.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >my thoughts entertain the choices of departure,</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >hesitance from a young obedience or plain fear, how do I know?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >at times i wish my balance away, oh that i would finally fall...</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >and ill pick up the pieces of a fate decided.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >Realized by a healing I cannot see, hope glistens as conscript listens to this plight. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >I feel this fight for me. not much i can explain, as if i overheard from another room</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >in defense of me, the divine speaks towards the demonic's conceit. who am i to be fought for? are we all that different? together as elements to nurture or neglect, the children's mantle he will protect. my future is decided by the stand taken by generations past...</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-27967847233998916242009-08-06T17:20:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:50:13.124-07:00variance in the grey<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);font-family:times new roman;" >A life without a past, a history or reputation. A lack of patience for explaining the particulars of choices made. A barrier between who they were and who they strive to be. Is freedom the white washing of memories made and mistakes replayed? A complete severance from what was and hopes to what is? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);font-family:times new roman;" >Apologies wasted on paper, good intentions left lacking and a cry for time to heal. Its all so aggregated through fear and locked tight with folded arms. Why is anyone surprised when those dearest to us is hurt, for they are by default closest in proximity to our mistakes....</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);font-family:times new roman;" >all I know is that saying when is the hardest part. </span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-42844402151306695582009-07-16T17:36:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:51:07.512-07:00holding fast<span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >Pillar:def-A fundamental principle or practice; A vertical cylindrical structure standing alone.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" > </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" > Who decides who is going to be a pillar? Is it in our character? Were we forced into the decision by a parent's lack of stability? or is it in our genes?...My summation would be all of the above.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >People say "oh, i have to be strong for this or that" but is that really whats on the order for the person they are being "strong" for? </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >Who do we help more when we make our attempts to be strong or available? Is it them or ourselves that receives the benefit? I try to find the balance in being of service and being strong for myself but am still confused in the why. I am tired and know its a lifestyle in a way but i need a break from "strength". Inclining my ear I wait to hear those words cry out to me....</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >hold fast</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-82631509694906552652009-06-20T10:37:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:51:49.307-07:00<span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">"We </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">only</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> hear what we listen for..."</span></span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-75363332805159690422009-05-18T16:12:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:52:23.804-07:00<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:times new roman;" >My thoughts bring around so much in a day...its all in release. I don't feel overwhelmed just conscious of the possibilities. Its when I reach out in the adversity I find my wholeness.</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-42168323709901240402009-04-28T23:54:00.001-07:002010-10-05T15:53:02.834-07:00<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:georgia;" >...it's always a mixed bag of emotions when you ever look back and read things that were your reality and now it's simply a limp you have grown accustomed to. An old writing that i can vividly remember where i was and what i was thinking in those moments...going back and forth with a friend of mine we took turns explaining each others plight. I started...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >Sand, It's everywhere.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >My skin blisters from it's gusty sting</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >The glare from the sun</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >Shields the answers from my sight</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >as I walk through the desert</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >I fight to stay above my fears that congregate</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >and dare not settle to impersonate</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >for those who point and say</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >'that desert will claim your fate.'</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >Yet my fears collaborate with my foe</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >and those who point at my desert</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >have chosen to make it their own</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >I will be free</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >Once this tempered hope makes it to my heart</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >They mock me with their comfortable,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >superficial shade</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >and though the temptation draws on my weakness</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >of planting in the sand</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >My tired heart knows this desert is only for a season</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >So I must continue to stand...</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-6284729565890053282009-04-24T13:28:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:53:52.428-07:00emotions overcast...<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 204); font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;" >So I wrote this a little while ago and still wonder why we choose to allow our emotions to dictate what we hear from ourselves and those around us. This state of disarray is easily remedied if we are objective but for a moment.<br /><br /><br /><br />a thought, </span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 204); font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;" >this thing that enters our mind when we wake. without having too much control of what that first one will be potentially sets the pace for our 16 hours of consciousness. well at least it does for me...</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204); font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;" > </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 204); font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;" >ok, so im awake....now what? guess ill do whats expected and get ready for work (even though that doesnt answer my question). i mean who wants to add as part of their morning routine of freshly ironed clothes and mouthwash some overwhelming confusion to kick things off? well being aware of the foolishness of this question it still seems as though i do. of all the things to occupy my mind i choose uncertainty. </span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 204); font-weight: bold;font-family:times new roman;" >emotions overcast my day...what is going on with me? i guess to borrow from an old author, "What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise." i know what i can be but tell me how am i supposed to get "there"?</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-25241198570832807402009-04-12T20:44:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:54:24.915-07:00sbucks<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-family:times new roman;" >I'm sitting in a room full of drinks. My neighbors preference of beverage and name written on their cups tell me more intentionally than they would omit purposefully. Color of shirt, choice of piercing, haircut and posturing cannot disguise the wounds. The fear, the clear lack of control and the simple unknown frightens everyone of these social drinkers.</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-7466506203785504852009-03-30T02:13:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:55:16.751-07:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >footprints.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" >eyes open, i drag myself to the shower.</span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" >keys, coffee...on to work.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div></div><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the city is busy early this morning</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >and yet the commerce feels empty, hollow, not enough to keep my attention.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >lacking confidence in my new tie, thoughts scramble yet they don't wander far.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the white noise of coworkers isn't enough either.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the view from the window of our floor, well the view.....<br />...its never looked this way before.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >all these buildings, these marvels of architecture, they seemed in despair</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i felt for the first time i noticed that they stood tall but they stood alone.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >without a single email sent or memo read, it's lunchtime, and i have to get out.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >elevator beeps, I'm almost there</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >fresh air will bring uniform to my thoughts</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >instead I'm distracted by the barren streets</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >its 12:42. there's usually not enough room to stand </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >and i feel as if this is the first time Ive ever seen the sidewalk.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >decorated by old gum and a name scribbled when the cement was fresh.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >further up i see a set of footprints. </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >wondering what business office they led to as i glanced down.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >who could be in such a hurry they didn't notice stepping in recent construction?</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >inquisitive, naturally i have to follow them</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >it might seem cliche or just desperate for adventure<br />but these steps felt different than most</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">.</span><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i don't even know how to explain but they had purpose.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >striding down 7th street i take a look back and realize Ive walked 6 blocks already but more importantly the right footprint has started to change. </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the left was a solid print but the right from the beginning was a sort of...limp?</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >intrigued. i continue to pursue even though I'm well past my portioned meal time. tell me more i think to myself as if the prints could answer back.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" > i continue my trek without hesitation. noticing some used bandages that were shed... i rush over.<br />they were dirty as expected but from stains of resentment and fear?</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >...what does that mean??</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >regardless my lack of understanding my pursuit continues.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >I'm thrown by the image </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >what was on that compress that mended such a wound?</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i ensue to see whats next.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >something....there just has to be something soon </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i just cant stop here </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >wait...</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >what is it?</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >cursing my legs inability to move faster</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >...a coat? a worn out coat? </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >what could this mean?</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >kneeling down, hesitant to touch it as if I'm afraid of its origin </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >its heavy.....inspecting it i feel the weight of others opinion </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >like an undertow it pulls</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >moreover than the depth of the tattered coat i wonder how the owner shed such a burden</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">?</span><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i sense a flicker </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >a glint of hope for myself.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >my thoughts pause...</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >where are these indentions guiding me?</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i loosen my "power" tie as it starts to choke</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the afternoon sun cascades as the buildings shade from the skyline to the street.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i have to move</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i have to know where this goes.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >a debate has begun </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >a classic one at that</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >mind vs. soul</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >and the reigning champ in the corner preparing the usual justifying arguments.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i feel different...my soul resilient</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >a fighting chance to...</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >don't get too excited just keep walking.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >dusk is on me</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i see a shape by the wayside.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >its in pieces</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >but what is it?</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >kneeling i turn a bigger piece over</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >its a part of someones face...well correction, it was.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >was this not their real face? its some sort of make shift mask...</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >pieces of it shattered others melted from the skin </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >and it made me wonder just where these footsteps had been.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >right then i couldn't believe i had never realized</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >these footsteps are someones past,</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >and though i don't know who's they are </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i see from where they've come.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >sight, vision, some sense of clarity...I'm motionless.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >tonight, under this sky i look up and even the air is dark.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >understanding in a wave washes over me and the implications are sobering.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >i reluctantly turn my head to look back...there they are.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >my footprints.</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >just as i have followed and grown,</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >others will cross mine and know...</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >following your past made my future.....</span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-23360238720587045182009-02-10T23:56:00.000-08:002010-10-05T15:56:07.755-07:00a swell in the tide...<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:lucida grande;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">a cage? </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">a cage of my own creation?</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">i stay in what i can just walk out of?</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">a demise sealed by just what i feel?</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">could it really be that tough?</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">agree with the authority in me</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">He being the centerpiece of all that i cleave?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Surely there is more...</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">more that is required of me</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">something to earn what is free</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">a hoop or two to jump through</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">a point system to relieve</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">the cost of this freedom received.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">oh the pain of regret</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">in this shame i reject</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">clothed in fear i recess</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">am i worth to possess?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">but still a generation's mantle neglected?</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">i feel the deep tide swell</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">the winds of change will tell</span><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">washed up to land a leader stands</span></span><br /></div><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:lucida grande;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">will you follow and make demands?</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">there is truth in the tide </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">take up your cloak, you know of the one i speak</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Stand together </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Speak your Truth</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Hold fast</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">...it's coming soon</span></span>The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352719956072227255.post-77342738123072201512008-10-14T00:54:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:56:43.927-07:00You can plan all day...So i find it interesting when everything works as it should yourself caring for someone and they make a choice which<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> to them</span> seems to be just on their behalf and you soon both realize the grip their actions inadvertently have on your heart.I tend to not find myself as a dramatic person but this time it got my attention. It sure is easy to sling blame as well as other things in amidst frustration but when i choose this course i often find myself lacking in the desired outcome.<br /><br />I really just want to be a better me. So as good intentions will always leave you lacking, I suggest for a moment to be real and see how that works out for ya.....its not any easier at first but it actually has a payoff,<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 51, 255);">TRUST</span>.The philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18404837033911922436noreply@blogger.com0