Thursday, August 12, 2010

Pronunciation: \ˈre-lə-vən(t)s\
Function: noun
Date: 1733

1 a : relation to the matter at hand b : practical and especially social applicability : pertinence
2 : the ability (as of an information retrieval system) to retrieve material that satisfies the needs of the user

So I've been sitting on this word for the last couple days and although the definition is concise I don't feel that it addresses the "heart" of it...

Shuttered light strobes through the fence across my face as I walk my city in the early hours. It's so still I can hear the buzzing of the traffic lights as they trade off. Sleep wasn't an option as rolling over started to feel like some sort of routine. Ok, so here I am with my thoughts and the quiet night sky, now what? I have the same sentiments during the day much less the bleak hours of the night, so will my lowered state of awareness bring me to new conclusions?

Marketing on a shop window brings me back from my daze. Where is everyone at when they read these ad slogans everyday? Does one soul feel any closer to self identification from these cheap imitations of what a life "should" look like? I have serious doubts toward that claim. But apparently if the right person is drinking or wearing it you will potentially have a shot at the same lifestyle. The problem isn't with the paid representative of said product but with our hopes to walk away from what we have for a life. As the storyline always plays through that song you feel as if were written just for you or that movie where you see yourself on the screen and the outcome you've always dreamed of. This message that resonates so close to you is simply relaying that you are in fact alive and in search of that place or idea to belong to.

No one shares these streets this late yet I wait for the crosswalk lights permission to proceed. Walking with shortened strides, infected thoughts of "What can I even do with my life at this point?" slow me down. My life is obviously different from yours but what threads do we share? Where do we reach to find our solace? And how long will that sanctuary of escape last this time? What could initiate the relevance of perspective for you and I?

Rebuttals start up from authors antiquity as I turn the corner to my apartment. One-liners and stanzas start surfacing to a moment I accommodate in the least but my heart beats out the logic to stop me in my tracks. I am as motionless as my surrounding at this hour yet my body feels as if it's in flight. Between Milton's "misplaced" Paradise, Eliot's Wasteland or Shelly and his interpretation of love I see the tie between who we allow to label us in our own lives and what we speak out on others is dire. Choice to receive the titles cast upon us is none but our own. Your relevance is limited to how deep you are willing to reach inside yourself. So I choose to walk with a renewed purpose to see myself past the projected expectations and invite you to do the same...but after you've had your morning coffee.

1 comment:

_Shane said...

Thank you for sharing this...